Awesome Case of the Day

So this fellow, out of the goodness of his heart, lets a couple into his house to watch dirty movies and to have sex for the low, low price of $5.35.  Unfortunately, the male half of the couple thinks this fellow stole his paycheck at some point during the proceedings, so the couple barricades him in his house and threaten him with a knife.  The fellow ends up escaping by running away and jumping out of the second story window.  As if that were not traumatic enough, the angry male who thinks his money was stolen chases him down in the street and proceeds to stab him anyway.  Luckily, the fellow is treated for his injuries and survives.  At some point crime lab is called upon to look for evidence, and they have to pull prints from the anal sex DVDs and watermelon-flavored beer (?) being enjoyed prior to the altercation.  At last, someone who has a weirder job than I do.